The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
