Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
