I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize