Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
