booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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