I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
is that a dick in a sweater?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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