you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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