standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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