I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
