I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
