I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
