She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize