that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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