$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
