I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
