just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
