How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I think we might need a safe word for this...
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
