It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
