talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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