You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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