She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
