I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
