Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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