Having a random hookup so left but love u
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
