she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
