I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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