He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
