The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I love you. Go after that dick
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
