just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize