Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize