Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
