she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
