bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
