There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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