I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
do nipples grow back?
Randomize