after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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