I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
