He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
