I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
