good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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