what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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