Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Randomize
