OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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