I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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