hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I checked into jail on foursquare
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
