I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
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