I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
