I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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