Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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