belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
one might say we're banned from that church
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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