it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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