I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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