The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
