when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
