hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
