she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
