i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Sorry about my life...
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
