Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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