we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
