I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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