I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
