he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
handjob tips. give me some.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Randomize
