All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
